If the title didn’t give it away, yep I turned 30 a few days ago! The past five years on my birthday I typically would harp over my goals I did not accomplish and the desire of my heart in which was not given. What’s the purpose of closing your eyes and intently making those wishes prior to blowing out the candles on the birthday cake again? Seriously though, I use to put some serious pressure on myself. So what’s different this year? This year, I’m choosing to loosen the reins around those timelines I give myself and finally be gentle with myself. I remember when I turned 21, I wanted to be married, have two children, have my masters degree and be well established in my nursing career all by the age of twenty-five. Now, I did get married prior to turning twenty-five; however, I did switch majors twice and am still on the journey to conceive. You know what? That’s ok! If I didn’t take the time to pray and ask God for direction regarding my future, it would not have led me to the social work field, in which I started working with trauma survivors and truly love it. Working with trauma survivors as a crisis counselor also led me to the desire to provide therapy for such warriors. Not having children by twenty-five has also allowed my husband and I to enjoy six beautiful years of marriage, just the two of us. There were so many times I would get frustrated and internalize it when certain obstacles would arise, preventing me from meeting my wonderful timeline. Instead of beating myself up over not meeting a goal, or dwelling on why something is not happening according to my timeline, I’m learning what it means to just be-to just take time to rest in the wait, to learn the lessons needed during such a time.

Setting goals are undoubtedly useful and imperative; however when setting timelines, I challenge you to not get down on yourself, as you are doing the best you can do! If others seem to be accomplishing/obtaining what is also on your timeline, don’t get discouraged because we all have our own journey, lessons to be learned, knowledge to be gained and growth to be made. Loosen those reins dear friend and take the time to be gentle with yourself, and just be!
Xoxo-

Sajae’