One thing about time is it certainly waits on no one. Through all my attempts to hope, wish and pray time would slow down as much as possible, in order for the dreaded day to not come as fast, the day has come and gone. Oh how I wish there was some sort of magic wand I could wave, or a special button I could press to simply allow time to stand still. Anyone know where I can find such a wand or button? As the hours slowly crept by, my mind went seemingly a thousand miles per second, as I waited to receive a call from Taylor. I busied myself with household chores, and attempted to complete a discussion post for a grad class, which didn’t work out too well, as I found it quite difficult to concentrate. I decided to instead, end the night early. Prior to allowing my mind and spirit to rest, I mumbled a short prayer under my breath, “Lord, please be my peace and strength” and I quickly drifted off to a deep slumber. It was now around 25 hours since I last heard from Taylor, around 4 in the morning my phone rang and yes, it was him! I got to speak with him for literally a brief moment. My heart was filled with all the fuzzy feelings I typically get when we talk and my soul was filled with gratitude to God that he and his group made it safely. Of course after we hung up, worry and fear attempted to creep in as I began to comprehend what he told me. He wasn’t going to be staying at the location they thought they were, and had to go somewhere else within a few hours. So there I laid, with a variety of thoughts flooding my sleepy mind simultaneously. Such thoughts were admittedly: “only a minute long conversation?!”, “When is the next time we’re going to talk?” “Even his last deployment we were able to talk multiple times a day.” In that moment I was fed up with sifting through a million of these thoughts and said the same short prayer as I did earlier, “Lord, please be my peace and strength.”
As I got ready for work a few hours later, I realized I was overcome with an all-encompassing sense of peace. I could tell my heart was still heavy with all the unknowns, but the worry and fears were all overshadowed with an unexplainable peace and stillness.
Prior to sessions with my client today at work, I made sure to say my usual prayer, “Lord, be my mouthpiece, use me so I can truly be a help.” My clients need my entire presence and for me to be in the moment with them, in which I was able to do. Also, I later completed my discussion post for class, which I was unable to do so the day prior. God certainly knows what I need and always give just enough grace and mercy to get through.
What can you do when life is chaotic/you feel as if you’re in a dark deep pit/your heart is hurting and you’re flooded with a great deal of negative thoughts? Choose to identify such thoughts for what they are and replace the negative with more positive ones. Allow your mind, heart, body and soul to be still. It is ok to just simply be. Ask yourself, “in this moment, what am I gaining from excessive worrying?” All we have our moments, and shouldn’t be wasted by excessively worrying about events that are out of our control. Of course this is easier said than done and this takes a conscious effort; however, this can be done and you owe it to yourself! Your mind, heart, body and soul deserves a break after all!
Some verses I will be meditating on are:
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But He said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Whatever it is you’re facing, it may seem hopeless, as if there is no way out. In this moment, choose to rest your mind, heart and soul and cling to the Heavenly Father who is the giver of peace and all good things. He loves you and knows just what you need. Trust in Him, my dear sweet friends and as always, be gentle with yourself, you’re doing the best you can! You can do tough things.