Before diving right into what led us to deciding whether or not to go the IVF (invitro fertilization) route, I must preface this post to let y’all know I will be writing a great deal of posts regarding IVF in order to catch everyone up. Without further ado, sit back relax, go ahead and grab some popcorn, coffee/tea or even wine J and enjoy this roller coaster of a ride!
So, it was probably back in the summer of July 2015, after our failed IUI (intrauterine insemination), Taylor (my sweet handsome love) and I decided we weren’t going to gamble with another IUI and try IVF. We knew IVF to be invasive and undoubtedly expensive, but we also knew we wanted children. We then made the decision to save while on a break from fertility treatments and the following year we would begin IVF. Prior to this decision though, honestly, (I’m about to be quite raw and transparent with my emotions) I encompassed the mindset that IVF meant I was less of a woman, that my body was unable to do the one thing so many women around the world could do naturally. To even fathom the thought of undergoing IVF, I felt defeated and just plain ole broken. I remember as if it were yesterday crying my eyes with a flood of thoughts. Such thoughts were: “Everyone said just take a break and let it happen naturally, we have for years and still nothing”; “Am I playing God by going the IVF route”, “Am I not trusting in God if we do IVF?” The latter two thoughts are so impactful; I must do a separate post! After Taylor and I prayed about it for a few months, we both felt in our heart, mind, soul and body that IVF was the route for us to take. If there’s anyone reading this and experiencing the stress of decision making regarding fertility treatment, especially IVF, I want you to know you’re not alone. I know you’re probably weighing the pros and cons; possibly worried about what others may say, while feeling as of somehow you are a failure. Take a few deep breaths, and know you are doing the best you possibly can, and you are certainly not a failure. If IVF is what you desire/need to do in order to get closer to making your dream come true, go for it! Taking the steps needed in which may bring us closer to our dreams doesn’t make us failures, it makes us warriors. So move forward warrior, you are an overcomer and have come so far already!
3 thoughts on “Decisions & IVF”
It’s interesting how differently we feel about IVF as treatment. If you need glasses to see or a hearing aid to hear, you don’t think of yourself as less of a person. But if you need to make the most of modern medical technology in order to have a baby, you feel like a failure. I’m glad you stopped blaming yourself 🙂
Definitely! I truly don’t feel like a failure anymore, just my thoughts leading up to deciding to pursue ivf. i have a lot more to write as we’re coming up on our 3rd transfer 😉 ❤
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Fingers crossed for you.